Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Its raining hard outside and I have a cake in the oven. I have been cooking and baking up a storm! Fall is in full swing. Im a bit bummed that we won't be making it to any fall parties this year--Clint has to work the night the church has theirs planned and I have prior obligations that night that I can't get out of. I guess we will have to be creative.
Speaking of the season...deer season. Last night I was headed into town on MAIN street....The car in front of me stopped and there was a BUCK in the street. It ran full speed ahead and hit a storefront window--bounced off and ran into the one next door. It hit another window and decided to just run down the sidewalk. I was in such shock to see a deer in town that I forgot I had my camera in my purse.
I forgot to mention the newest member of my family! I have a new nephew--Cody Garrett. I'll post pics soon!
Monday, September 22, 2008
His mom made mention of selling her place and the price she rattled off was ridiculously cheap. It would be a perfect home for us but we have got to pray--God's will overrides what our heart desires. Even though we are going through a really tough time here and it would be so easy to pack up and head back.
In other news--the boys had a long day--they played hard and then we got home a whole lot later than planned. needless to say, we were late this morning...lol
When we got home last night the boys were starving. Here their grandma had a ton of food but they didn't touch anything but some grapes! My mother in law isn't the greatest of cooks and my boys have made many comments to us about "gma cant cook at all!" They have never ate a whole lot at her house. Yesterday was different though. She did a fairly good job but I couldn't convince the boys of that. They only wanted grapes that they knew gma hadn't tainted. LOL
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Guess Ill check out ebay or craigslist and see if I can find a cheap replacement.
Im awake way too early for a Saturday morning. Our dog apparently ran off admist the chaos around here last night. All kinds of neighbor kids were playing football in the backyard. But I noticed she was missing when she didn't scratch on my bedroom door this morning to be let out.
She is just a laid back dog and in the evenings you find her normally on one of the boys beds sleeping. There is probably no way she found rest in one of those rooms last night. Chase had a friend over and i think they played every video game imaginable. Kinda sad no one noticed she was missing! Anyway. We are off to search for Daisy. Wish us luck!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Last week he got beat up!!! Now I never prepared myself for the feelings I could feel towards a 12 year old boy that hit my son. That protective momma spirit sprung up in me! I wanted to rip the punk from limb to limb!
It didn't take long though and when I found out it was a severly troubled kid that I somewhat know--I hurt for him. His parents basically leave him to fend for himself. He runs the streets at all hours. He has no one to teach him--no one to love him.....
Its not fair he has been dealt a bad hand in life. I pray someone steps into his life and loves him.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Anyway. So Eric (5) is sitting on the couch this morning before school and he says "mom, I will always be your little boy. I am just getting taller!"
Oh...what a concept! I pray it rings true! I would love for him to be my little boy forever but it sure looks like they are growing up into young men.
Ever get to a point where you feel like a bundle of nerves inside? There is so much confusion--yet you know God is in the midst--and you are just trusting Him. That's where Im at right now. Im just wondering when its all going to meld together and work for His glory!
So I drop of the kids at school and Im working through all these detours they have downtown so I can make my way home. (All these one way streets are CRAZY! I don't think I will ever get use to them!!) A song I have heard MANY times before comes on but this time I really listen to the lyrics. It was like everything that had been reeling in my mind the past month just flowed out through the music. It was beautiful!
It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender
(Chorus)Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't seebut
I'm giving in to something Heavenly
Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is
You want from me
I give everything I surrender...To...
Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Whatever You're doing inside of meIt feels like chaos but now I can see
This *is* something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time *to* breathe in and let everything out
Friday, July 11, 2008
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Here he is ready for school. The bright green sunglasses from his Sonic kids meal make the outfit!
Christmas was a lot of fun with him this year. He put a gift bag on his head cause it made him look more like an elf. LOL
He insisted that he wore the "ear warmer" cause his ears were cold. Yeah...I can see how it helps sitting on top of his ears like that. ROFL!
My favorite. The superhero phase. So much fun. Life can't get much better than when you can run around in your undies and socks with a pillowcase pinned around your neck and everyone thinks you are adorable.
There was a time when Clint and I were REALLY running from God full speed ahead. There was no peace. We went through the motions of being married...being parents.....being Christians.....
I remember for a few months all I could do is cry. My heart was heavy and I had no idea WHAT could fix it. I've always wanted to "fix" everything and everyone--you get the picture.
I am ashamed to say that I lived in a very "zombie-like" state for weeks. I would cry constantly. I would do the bare necessities to taking care of my family. Sometimes to the point of neglect.
I remember one day I was so mad at God. All I needed was an answer to "How do I fix this?!"
I went to my bedroom because I didn't want to completely crumble in front of my boys. I locked the door and just sobbed. This presence came into my room and although I was crying--there was a peace. God spoke to me clearer than I have ever heard before. He said when your relationship with your husband isn't "right" you will do whatever it takes to fix it. Why don't you feel that way about your relationship with Me?
God was just trying to get me to fully commit to Him.
A few days later I broke when my pastor asked how Clint was. (He hadnt went to church with us that morning.) All I could mutter between tears and sobs was "Pray for us"
It seemed the whole world was against me. But then I thought back to what God had spoke to me. I decided then that no matter what happened to my marriage---I had to live for God. With or without my husband. That really hurts when you love someone so much that you are willing to move on without them. Its certainly not what I wanted to do. I knew God wasn't asking that of me at that time--but I just needed to be more commited to "my first love" than my husband.
Anyway. I wish I could say things instantly got better. It didn't. It got a whole lot worse. But God broke us. God stripped us of our pride in that time. He brought us to a point where we HAD to make some life altering choices.
We worked on us. We worked on ourselves as indivduals and as a couple.
I can say I have never been happier in my marriage.
So my point in posting this.....I think God is wanting more from us in our relationship with Him. He is wanting to take us to another level--but to get us there we need "refined"
Its gonna take work. Possibly some tears. But in the end--It will be worth it.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
I am a small town girl who married her high school sweetheart. I have four kids--Bryen, 11, Chase, 9, Dylan 6, and Eric 5.
God called my husband into ministry fairly early into our marriage. I joke about how God called him after we were married otherwise I would have never married him...lol Its just something I wasn't prepared to be called to do. Still to this day I feel like God made a HUGE mistake..lol Like most in ministry--we ran from the call. Right now we are feeling our way through and letting God direct our steps. Who knows where we will end up but part of me is excited to see where this journey leads.
At this time we are youth ministers at Crossroads UPC. We have an incredible group of kids. When we took the position we gained 15 more "kids" They are our heart. Check em out--www.myspace.com/wiredyouthministries
This blog is daily musings from my journey of discovering who God wants me to become. Like the old phrase--Im not who I was---or who I am suppose to be. Its such an honor that God would call me to do anything for Him. I was such a mess! Who am I kidding...I STILL AM!
Im raising four young men--I may have a future evangelist, pastor, youth minister---or a rare man that is just content working behind the scenes raising his own family in truth-- in my home. Its nothing we should ever take lightly--but some days we just miss the mark and forget.
Everything in my life is great--I have an awesome husband, good kids--the new home we have been praying for. But admist all of that my heart is hungry for more. (Not more children or a new husband mind you...lol ) But I feel like there is more He has in store for us.
There are times like now where I just simply can not find the words to speak--no eloquent prayers--nothing. I just don't know where this path is taking me and all I can do is trust that He is in control.
I have learned that music is so very very healing in these times though. Songs speak the words my heart feels when I don't have the strength to say a word.....
My current favorite is All I can Say by David Crowder Band. Its on my playlist...Give it a listen....